A sample of conversations from today.
Director to me: I assume you’re supposed to be dressed as something.
Me: Yes! I’m a gypsy.
Director: They’re not called that anymore.
Me: I know, so I’m actually a
Director: For the Romans.
My boss: I didn’t even realize you were dressed up.
Side note: Did I ever tell you about the time when someone asked me if I “ever appeared out of costume?”?
I forgot to mention that? It still perplexes me to this day.
Anyway, here’s a conversation that took place over text, for your reading pleasure. This is the closest I have ever felt to being a parent:
Me: I think maybe we should adopt a friend for Kiwi.
Paul: And you think Kiwi will give our new friend a warm welcome and share a cage?
Me: Kiwi will hate everything ever, which she already does. But maybe this way she’ll have socialization.
Paul: I wouldn’t mind 2 widdo piggies. Do you think Petsmart would let us bring Kiwi in and see if she hits it off with any piggies?
Me: I was thinking of searching animal shelters/ Craisglist so we could rescue one who is an adult?
Paul: Mmmmm, I though adults raised separate don’t get along. We’d need to get a puppy pig?
Me: I don’t know, I guess. I thought maybe if the other was submissive?
Paul: Puppy pig! Puppy pig!
Me: Check out [local rescue]. We can “foster to adopt” with a 30-day trial.
Paul: So if they don’t get along we just say, “Sorry, piggy, you have to be an orphan again?”
Me: Well, maybe she can find a better home or something.
We’re still contemplating, guys. Still contemplating.
Anyway, back to Halloween.
Did I ever tell you about the time I dressed as Curious George at work and ran into a Bishop in the elevator?
Yes. That once happened. That is all you need to know about my distant, sordid, embarrassing past. Or something.
Also! Here is the cutest thing ever: