This kind of strays from my usual themes of Jesus/ secondhand shopping/ snacks…but, it’s what I’ve been thinking about, so it’s what I’m writing about.
Namely this: short hair.
As I recently revealed on the blog, I’m the proud and lucky recipient of a fantastic haircut (love to my girl Kristen!).
It’s fun, the color has been described as “edgy,” the shape does something different and upbeat every day. Awesome!
It’s super easy to care for. I wash it, it looks great. I don’t wash it…it looks great. I sleep on it/ don’t brush it/ blow dry it/ wear a hat/ wear a head-scarf…it looks great. Winning!
Here’s what blows my mind: the way people relate to my hair.
I feel like I should be conducting a sociological experiment about this. Only, I don’t really know how. So instead I’ll just write a blog post, which is totally something I know how to do. Cough. Or something.
Let me give a breakdown of people and what they think of my hair.
- Me. I consider myself the most important person listed here involving this issue since, well, it’s my own hair. Here’s what’s up: I love it. I can’t believe I didn’t do this sooner…namely, pre-Camino. Plus, I’ve never liked the way I looked with long hair, and I think this suits me well.
- My parents. I’m honestly only listing them because so many people were like, “What do your parents think???” First of all, it doesn’t matter what they think, it’s my life, ya’ll. Secondly, they love it. My mom has scheduled her own appointment with my hairdresser…and she was ready to do so THE NIGHT I had this did.
- General feedback. Positive. I literally carry around stacks of my hairdresser’s cards because so many people ask me where I have my hair done. Once I ran out and I had to write on a napkin for a lady, wouldn’t ya know. Older women schedule their own appointments with my hairdresser, which I think speaks volumes and younger women say, “It’s so YOU.” Which it is. Thank you, loving encounters.
But there is a contingent, usually the young male population, who feels it is necessary to tell me they don’t like my hair. Some even go so far as to suggest that I grow it out.
This baffles my mind. I’m flabbergasted. Really, I am. Flabbergasted on several accounts. I’m going to list them in points of flabbergast.
(Keep in mind, I’m a single girl. I feel like there is probably a case for dressing/ working out/ shaving/ getting haircuts for a significant other/ spouse. If you’re married to someone who mentions, “Hey, I’ve always liked purple hair” so on your lunch-break you go out and buy a pack of purple hair-dye and use your work’s utility sink to surprise them with a new ‘do that evening…that’s kind of cute. I’m not talking about that. I’m talking about guys who have no hold or sway on my person being like, “Your hair is wrong.” Um, no. No, it’s not.)
First of all, it shouldn’t be surprising to anyone ever that a different person might enjoy a different expression of clothing/ adornment/ whatever.
For instance, I’ll probably never get plugs or gauges. Personally, I’m not that into them. HOWEVER, if someone I knew decided that was a route they’d like their ears to traverse, I’d probably just say, “Oh, I see you have gauges. That’s cool, man.”
And that would be that. Honestly, it would. I can’t think of a situation where I’d be like, “I DON’T LIKE GAUGES SO TAKE YOURS OUT.”
In the same way, I understand that maaaaybe someone doesn’t like short hair themselves (but more on this in point 3), but I’m not really sure who gave them the certificate-to-say-anything. Yes, we are in America. Freedom of Speech. But, common courtesy? Anyone? Don’t tell the person next to you on the bus you don’t like their tattoo. Don’t tell your coworker you would have worn a different tie. Don’t tell some girl her hair isn’t up to your fine standards.
When a dewd says to me, “You should grow your hair out,” it comes across as selfish and ignorant.
Because caring for long hair takes a lot of time and a lot of effort. Even growing long hair takes a lot of time and a lot of effort.
Now, I’m 100% happy with any lady (or gent) who decides to grow their hair out. Ask my friends, I literally ask them if I can fix their long, long hair because I think it’s fun to play with other people’s hair.
BUT, I would compare this more to a guy who doesn’t have six-pack abs. I would NEVER say to my friends (and I’m just guessing here for the sake of discussion that most of them don’t have six-packs…since I really only see everyone shirted and what not thankyouverymuch), “Hey, you’d look a lot better with a six-pack.”
Because working out to define a six-pack takes weeks and weeks of effort and upkeep. If a guy wants to do that, amen and may he do it and live to see his children’s children…but it’s ABSOLUTELY not MY place to impose that demand upon him. Right?
When a guy says to me, “You’d look a lot better with long hair” I automatically think, “And you’d look a lot better with a six pack…but I wasn’t going to say anything.”
Because, you know, maybe I could just appreciate said-guy for, I don’t know, WHO HE IS AS AN INDIVIDUAL instead of worrying about whether or not his outward appearance meets my preconceived ideals of the masculine form.
Side-flabbergast point numero tres:
If I think about most of the guys I know, they aren’t exactly rocking top-knots and french-braids. Most of them have 1-2 products in their all-I-need-to-do-is-shower haircuts and they’re good to go. (And, I’ll be honest, you guys look good. Nice hair, all).
BUT THAT’S ALSO FRUSTRATING.
Guys will have hair that takes probably 5 minutes to style and they’ll be like, “Oh, yeah, long hair on women.”
I feel like this is like me saying, “Yeah, I have a washing machine. But, you’re a guy. You should only wash your clothes by hand ever, ever, ever. It’ll make you more manly.” Even though washing by hand takes four times as long as washing by machine.
Yes. Total double-standard.
Flabbergast point numbah four (and this one is more sassy and adult-y. Probably not for kids? I don’t know).
And then they’ll trot out something like, “Because long hair will make you more feminine.”
To that I’m like, “Really? I mean, so will a boob job, honestly, but I’m not going there either.”
Again, I’m totally in support of any woman (or fellow) who wants to grow out her(/his) hair. I understand that it makes some women feel feminine, and I support that decision.But I’m also pretty sure that short hair can be feminine. Ask the 1920’s. Or St. Clare of Assisi…whichever floats your boat, really.
Flabbergast-y point number 5
I assume, since you’re reading some internet, you have access to the internet.
Since you have access, I assume you’ve browsed some internet in your day.
Since you’ve browsed some internet, you’ve undoubtedly come across a video or two of how the “beautiful models” we’re constantly seeing aren’t actually realistic.
I would show the more-recent one, but I like this one more anyway.
What I’m putting out there is: maybe this vision some guys have in their heads of a gorgeous woman with flowing, shining hair isn’t a realistic, healthy, well-balanced goal, anyway.
Now, I also gave the Julia a short little bob last Friday.
On Friday we loosely mentioned these points of flabbergast, and Julia pointed out that hair is just a part of a larger you. And other things can make a woman feminine…like clothing and demeanor etc. (We could argue that even a woman with the LONGEST HAIR EVER might not have a feminine spirit).
Because of that, I’m going to end with four beautiful pictures taken from the Sartorialist (Linked. Sartorialist, you are madly talented and I love love love your stuff) of what I believe to be beautiful, beautiful women with short hair.
In the end: some people prefer long hair, and I get it. Some people prefer short. And that’s fine, too.
But, I’ll do what I want. #RonSwanson
And please, please don’t tell me to grow it out. That only makes you look immature.
Has a guy ever told you to grow out your hair? What were your thoughts? What are your short-hair thoughts generally?
Feel free to comment. We can all wear our sassy-pants. It’s almost the weekend.